Archive for the “Rant” Category

Dearest Applicants,

As an officer of a raiding guild, I want to dedicate this post to all of you individuals who have applied to any raiding guild, and I think I speak for all officers when I say your written masterpieces are the finest in this virtual world of dragon-slaying. I want to sincerely thank you for making recruiting immensely easier. I think everyone can learn a thing or two from the experts of application-writing.

You’re right, of course, about WWS/WMO parses being an unnecessary requirement. My apologies to you for contradicting your claims of being a good player by asking for one. If you say you’re good, I should just automatically assume you are. And if I question your rotation, the obvious answer is the the “right rotation,” because everyone knows this most basic information. You are the best at your class, which should totally be obvious by your super-special purples as displayed in your armory.

I also should know better than to ask for dps numbers. Telling me you’re always top five in your current guild’s raids gives me a clear, accurate number of what sort of player you are, since, of course, I raid with you, right? And answering my request for a rough estimate of how much dps you do with “good dps” is also an universally acceptable answer.

You’re clearly the superior individual, so please make us aware of this from the beginning of your application. Insult my guild members and myself when we ask you questions regarding questionable talent builds, rotations, and itemization. You’re totally right! Since when do you have to actually be a walking encyclopedia to join a raiding guild? It’s just a video game, and you, sir, really need to put us in our places and tell us how it is. So if anyone asks you questions you can’t or don’t feel like answering, you are in your right to just call the guild bad or accuse people of living in basements.

Guild applications also aren’t English papers, so please don’t bother spending any time making sure you’ve spelled words correctly. In fact, while you’re at it, completely ignore the concept of punctuation. Language is an ever-evolving thing, and I’m clearly the bigger idiot for not realizing this. You’re applying to a raiding guild, after all, not to participate in a spelling bee. Who cares if your application is a giant wall of text comprised of incoherent babble? I can armory you, so it doesn’t really matter if I can understand you, after all.

It is also perfectly acceptable to not answer every question on an application. It’s not your fault we don’t make our applications in an easily-understandable, multiple choice format. In fact, just skip around and answer any questions that don’t require thought. For extra bonus points, just go through and answer any open-ended questions with “yes.”

Please ignore all the stickied threads that explain my guild’s raiding schedule, philosophies, expectations, and rules. You’re a pretty smart guy/gal since you’ve realized I wrote them just out of mere boredom, instead of for your benefit. In fact, after skipping over all threads, please consult me or another officer in game to ask about our schedules, recruiting needs, and progression, and preferably consult me during a raid. If you want to skip this step, just go ahead and apply but answer the “can you make our raids?” question with a written shrug or a “wat time do u raid” question of your own.

I should understand when you apply to other guilds besides mine. You’re testing the water, as you say, and you’re doing the smart thing by applying to as many guilds as possible. Feel free to stretch out the application process as long as possible, that way you can sort through which you were accepted to and rank them in order of preference. And if all those top 100 ranked guilds deny you, please get back to us as soon as possible. We totally want to be your last resort.

And last of all, who honestly cares if you put a lot of effort into your application or not? This is a video game, and if we can’t realize that, we need to go outside and see some sun, clearly. You’re not applying for an impressive job in real life, you’re applying to an internet guild with internet people killing internet bosses. We take ourselves way too seriously if we expect you to display a good attitude and a willingness to do everything you can to contribute to the overall success of your team’s progress. So instead, go join a less structured guild and cry when it falls apart, and then complain you can’t get into a good raiding guild. In fact, re-apply to us; we’ll understand!

Sincerely,
A Very Disgruntled Recruitment Officer

/edit/-> This post was intended to be a stab at something humorous, but sarcasm is sometimes misconstrued. If you are actually interested in constructive application tips, please read my guide here. Thanks!

Comments 45 Comments »

Recently, I’ve been getting a lot of feedback about my blog, both good and bad. One of the comments I keep hearing repeated is that people think I’ve got this mighty stick up my ass (druid porn?), I can’t enjoy this game, and I take it all too seriously. First of all, I tend to stay on topic, so if I’m talking about recruiting, I’m going to stick with recruiting and not talk about how to wipe your raid as a joke (hmm, that’s a good idea for a future entry?). And secondly, guild relations is generally a topic that comes across as serious because of the nature of the subject.

“It’s Just A Game.”

Congratulations, Mister Internet User, for stating the obvious. You’re right, this is a game, and most people play to have fun and alleviate real life stress. In my humble opinion, this statement bothers me, and here’s why.

The word fun is defined differently by some people. Some people have fun in an environment that focuses heavily on raiding, and adversely, quit having fun when people aren’t playing well. They play for the content and the challenge of doing it well. Other people define fun solely by slaying internet dragons with fun people, and don’t care how well they and the others play. Either type of motivation for raiding doesn’t mean fun and raiding are mutually exclusive.

I always like to compare raiding to sports or a band/orchestra. Both can be considered hobbies (and careers, for some, but that’s not my point) that require teamwork and good structure. When I played in band/orchestra, I took it very seriously even though it was a hobby for me. If somebody didn’t show up for marching band rehearsal because his/her dedication wasn’t on par with mine, my performance suffered. When someone didn’t practice a particularly difficult run and lagged behind, my performance suffered. And if people weren’t trying, I expected the leadership to fix it. Without structure, without rules, and without someone to enforce all the rules, we never would have gotten far. People like myself would have gotten fed up and quit. Regardless of it being a hobby, my biggest enjoyment could be contributed to the challenge of it and the success of teamwork.

Raiding can be thrown into a similar category and for similar reasons. Maybe people who play for the challenge and aspect of teamwork come across as too serious. But for people to get shit done, if you don’t mind my French, there are times when you have to take it seriously. Taking something you enjoy seriously shouldn’t make it feel like a job. If it feels like a job for you, that doesn’t mean end-game isn’t for you, but it’s a completely different environment. We all play for different reasons, and my blog happens to be one that focuses on taking end-game and guilds relatively seriously.

People think good guilds just happen on their own. Hint: they don’t. Serious or not, you need structure and you need rules. If you don’t have those two key things, then your guild will be chaotic. Drama and people with bad attitudes will happen. You’ll have massive recruitment turn-over. My dad always told me there’s a reason for every rule, and even in a video game, you need rules. If you complain about a guild with rules feeling too much like a job, with all due respect, you lose the right to complain when your guild massively explodes.

Know Where That Line Is

Wanting a structured guild who takes raiding seriously doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. It means you know how to focus when you need to, but can also have a good time when you’re not focusing. I’d like to think my guild is one of the most fun I’ve been in, and all our members have commented that our guild environment and personality is the funniest and liveliest they’ve experienced (proof?). We joke, we laugh, we make fun of each other. We sing on vent, purposely let people die for laughs, and have a multitude of inside jokes. If anybody knows how to have fun, we certainly do. But when we raid, we take it seriously. Does that mean we stop singing, laughing, and joking? Absolutely not. But then, people don’t need to be told to shut up (okay, I lie.. sometimes a few individuals think they’re funnier than they really are!) when it’s crunch time. We focus when it requires focusing and make use of our raiding time.

We have a lot of structure, a lot of rules, and a ridiculously thorough application process that a few outsiders have complained were “too much like a job.” But that’s what works for us. It keeps the guild going strong, it keeps our core loyal, happy, and close-knit, and most importantly, ensures we minimize issues and drama. We’re stable, and that’s not something a lot of guilds can brag about, and the reason being- you guessed it: good structure.

In the end, play for whichever reasons make you happy. I just felt compelled to express my opinions on why I write on the subjects I do, and help people understand that taking certain aspects of the game seriously doesn’t make it a job.

/rant

Comments 20 Comments »